Yeah, my dad died. Wow, was that ever a surprise. I mean, I knew and could see he was rapidly becoming more frail and winded, and I knew for as much as he wanted to live independently, those days were starting to become numbered.
The surprise was in the depth of experience in his death… how I was flooded with such an unexpected and beautiful sense of forgiveness to him, from him and, probably most importantly, for myself. I was surprised by how fiercely and dearly I suddenly needed to make sure that his memorial was wonderful and lovely and rich. I was surprised by how many people shared stories about my dad, stories with the same general theme: he was kind, he was gentle (and a gentleman), and he was generous with his knowledge, time and concern for others’ well being.
I was surprised by the love and support from my family, friends and community … not only in the calls, conversations and condolences, but also with the many hours friends contributed in helping me sort through my dad’s house, office and seven storage units worth of intensely disorganized, hoarder-personality stuff.
I was surprised at how I knew in my heart–in an instant–that I needed to gift my father’s possessions. How I needed to transform a hoarder’s seemingly endless accumulation into useful items for others to have and enjoy. And so I hosted The Great Gifting.
And I was surprised by the level and depth of grief that a human being could experience…and survive. I had no idea until I felt it, full, raw and real. In experiencing such grief I understood it to be both a 100 percent individual and unique experience and, concurrently, that grief is a universal human experience.
I’ve written on FB quite a bit about my experience of his death. And my sister created an absolutely lovely video and photo montage of my father’s life from infancy through to his death. It’s quite touching. Also, if you’re interested, his obituary is here and details about the memorial are here.
